dance with me

11:40am: FRIDAYNIGHT-S

4:49pm: moved to fridaynight_s

LJ friends, I'm in the process of adding you! Please add back. :D

This journal will still be used for sgselltrade/sgspree/_spreee purposes, until I find someway to switch the usernames.

12:47am: I spent the entire day watching old friends episodes (some TWICE even), the island, and a whole lot of tv. plus i ate two slices of chocolate cake, fries and the usual meals. at this rate, i'll die of a choked artery soon, like what i talked about in my pw project. how sweet.

12:42am: THINGS I HAVE TO DO:

1) BUY SOMETHING. it is not normal to go shopping 4 days in a row and not buy anything besides presents and food. seriously, i need to grab something off the racks now and BUY IT.

2) THINK OF A NEW USERNAME. god why is it so hard?

3) fix buttons on pouch.

god i seriously need to spend some money like NOW.

2:03pm: it is amazing that my primary school classmates still link each other on their blogs. i feel so out of touch. i haven't seen them in about 2 years, and our last gathering wasn't all that nice, at least to me. i was tongue-tied most of the time, which i blame on their frequent use of chinese, and also their different lifestyle. but how will things be now? worse? or ok? there was a girl whom i kept seeing at raffles city last year during the lifebaby era. we didn't acknowledge each other. i wasn't sure if she recognised me, and didn't want to make a fool out of myself, and she didn't take the initiative either. and so we behaved like strangers. that has been the closest physical contact i have been with in the last year. i haven't even seen my ex-classmate who apparently lives a block away from me in ages. SERIOUSLY. what happened?

2:07am: I am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate
that God himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true, it may seem like a stretch
but its thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away
when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road
for several weeks of shows
and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

12:59am: ( PICTURES )

12:14am: :D IT'S OVER! (and i have a break until tuesday SWEET)

i'm trying not too think so much these days. points on agenda:

1) stop being so judgemental
2) stop being so paranoid
3) stop being so conceited

7:43pm: hellos i know i'm a little slow but still...
GOODLUCK and JIAYOU for block tests!
can party a little after that!

<3 you !

-dor

12:00am: HEHE its 12 midnight and I am still on the internet even though my ECONOMICS test is tomorrow today! I am actually trying to search for the psi index of shanghai, and frankly speaking, i have no idea what psi stands for. GO ME!

ARGH 2 MORE DAYS.

Make haste!

6:08pm: god i seriously need some DARK jeans my legs are fugly and i need to cover them FUCK.

8:44pm: Too much time has been wasted. watching movies, eating bread, painting nails and surfing friendster (yes i am a loser). and reading the newspaper TWICE to check if i missed anything. which made me learn about 10 things i hate about you showing in approximately 14 minutes time according to the clock at the bottom right side of the screen. oh the dilemma. to study econs, or the watch one of my favourite movies of all time. FUN OR GRADES. the constant struggle. :(

i watched pride and prejudice (like, FINALLY) and a lot like love a few days back! i loved both movies. i hated p&p at first but in the end i was enraptured by the plot. which made me decide to reread the book properly after the block tests. i never quite finished it the first time. a lot like love is just so god damn adorable. ashton kutcher and amanda peet are way too cute together.

randomness randomness. can you tell i am just trying to get away from studying AGAIN?

anyway, i decided to renounce my love for stripes because they are only a trend, as the woman (forgot which one) in urban said, INVEST IN CLASSIC PIECES. and so i will. classic pieces here i come! shop shop shop. can't wait to shop til i drop. after the bts of course. :( for now, i will settle for looking at mannequins and catalogue models.

which reminds me, i missed ANTM yesterday!!! :( but the time was spent with luc so it was a pretty sweet exchange. love!

oh no, 4 minutes left to decide! GAH FRUSTRATION.

conclusion: I HATE SCHOOL.

12:09am: MY SISTERS ARE TOO CUTE.

the study plan hasn't been too successful, i made a timetable for tomorrow, then scrapped it, made another one and scrapped it again. i decided that i was never going to follow the self-made schedule anyway so i am not making another one. we'll just go with the flow and hopefully that doesn't involve screwing up. my ipod needs charging. i have been listening to it 24/7 though no work has been accomplished besides for one topic of math which i WAS rather proud of.

thanks for yesterday. :)

11:12am: i need to drill into my mind that all this doesn't matter, i just have to go with the flow, smile, laugh and let go. there is no point second guessing myself, doubting everyone's intentions and coming up with absurb theories that do not make me feel any better and in fact, hurt more. which also hurts other people. no one should torture themselves, or others. life's a piece of cake, if you want it to be. it is all up to you. smile and your day will seem better.

let go.

4:15pm: ( GIRL OF THE MOMENT )

11:19pm: hehe, I have actually made a million versions of this list but here's one of them anyway since I was tagged by eeli! I was just having a conversation with jade about this - I decided that I like arty farts, she likes intellectual businessmen who makes important phone calls!

8 aspects of a perfect lover
1. Makes me feel COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE.
2. Love me inside out.
3. Sensitive.
4. Sweet. Does little things that make me happy!
5. Play the guitar. As I was telling jade, I want the guy to whip out his guitar when I am down and sing me songs to cheer me up! (ok this is a little far-fetched. But seriously, I like a musical guy. :))
6. Intellectual, opinionated and open minded. I detest those who are narrow-minded.
7. Decent looking. Call me superficial but yeah, I want my perfect lover to look good. + Decent dressing.
8. Give me a hug when I need one.

That's about it. I am supposed to tag people, but I am not going to as usual. Just do it if you want to.

Today was not my day. But the same people managed to make me laugh so it was all right in the end. Singing prehistoric tunes like disney songs and M2M like we were primary six again was good.

3:30pm: My smile vanishes the moment I leave company, my mood drops gradually, less, less and when I write this post, I am back to feeling so empty again. Why am I killing myself by consuming all these thoughts?

4:16pm: I had this really awesome post idea last night before I slept, then I woke up this morning and forgot everything.

Stupid things are distracting me now. RRAAHH. I tried to clear my mind on the bus today. It is something I like to try every now and then. I try to focus on a piece of white cloth floating in an empty room kind of place (which is my head) and forget everything else. It kinds of reminds me of a pad advertisement. You know, like 'YIPPEE! The cloth is not stained due to the super poweress of the WONDERPAD' or something like that. Anyway, it never quite works. My mind is still clouded.

Oh well, this was a semi awesome post huh? I better go sleep before I start sprouting more rubbish.

12:34am: its the weekend!
It's been too intense. BUT, the weekend is here which means temporary bliss. Woot! Joy to the world!

I love fridays. The non school portion at least because lessons do still get to me. Retail therapy! Oh how I love looking at those psychedelic strips and polka dots all over the place. The feel of fabric on my hands, the silk, the cotton, the LEATHER. OMG. I love shopping! Of course, it would be really much better if I could actually buy something but anyway that's not the point. The point here is that shopping makes me happy! And being happy is good! :D

I am going to indulge myself in the joys of the weekend. Nope, nothing's going to get me down. I am strong and happy and it is the weekend!

I am even going to enjoy myself while filing with the knowledge that it will help me study better to score my As! Yeah I know AAA is a little absurb, being in SA and all but it's always nice to aim a little higher right? ;)

Oh enough about school. I don't think I have said this recently but to jade and ade: I LOVE YOUU! Thanks for brightening up my days! :D

1:06am: You smile, mention something that you like
And how you'd have a happy life if you did the things you like

Every step now is so heavy so exhausting. I try to get by, but for what? I don't know. The results came out today, it is scary to think that in a year's time, I'll be doing what my seniors did, going through the mental trauma, the anxiety, the stress, the fear, the hope. What is life after that like? I tried looking through the papers for university ads today, didn't find anything I liked. So where is this going? Can I do something that I like? What do I like? Can I do what I like?

One thing is for sure, I don't like what I am doing now.

Things are suffocating my mind and I want to throw them out, bury them and DESTROY them.

12:53pm: In case any of you a32 people wanted to see the neos, here they are! Sorry for not showing it here, I think I look hideous and can't bear to look at it again.

Remind me to have my saturday & sunday evenings as occupied as possible because I hate having meals with my parents. Yesterday's dinner was no different. It will always be the same. At least I managed to learn an interesting bit of my mum's history when she was younger.

My grandfather had this big big house in the Hougang area where the whole family lived, including his sisters. They moved into the house in around 1965, and before that the house had a really eerie past.

The house used to belong to this rich couple, who moved out during the Japanese Occupation, when it was taken over by the Japanese. The Japanese used the house as some kind of torture chamber, which meant that a lot of people died in that house. (apparently there was a lot of gold (that the Japanese took from the common people) hidden underneath the house, but my mum said they never found it) So, as if that wasn't creepy enough, there's part two. The rich couple moved back into the house after the Japanese Occupation and started having all kinds of arguments and this major fight which escalated to the husband shooting a bullet through the bathroom door where the wife was hiding. Fortunately, no one was killed. But the couple decided to move out and the husband gave the house to my grandfather.

My grandfather didn't believe in ghosts, so the whole family moved in because it was near my mum's school. Tons of tragic things started to happen. My two uncles (twins) died not too long after their birth, and then my third aunt, who was in university at that time, had an heart attack and died. One of my grandaunts also died while living in that house I think. My mum turned into a rebel and did all kinds of activist things (which I am still not too clear about til this day), left home after university and my youngest uncle ran away from home after dropping out of school. Eventually, they moved out of the house into a small flat, and my mum decided to move back. And the family lived happily ever after. At least until today.

Yep, so beware of huge houses infested with rats.

9:53pm: I keep wondering when I'll get out of this mess and start seeing things real. Everything just seems like a blur right now, so I'm taking one step at a time, cautious and wary. What's going to happen next? What am I going to do? I am try not to think about that. The future's so hazy, so fuzzy, I don't know where I'm going. I just hope I'm not on a one-way street to failure.

5:22pm: My spree organiser ordered the wrong birkes for me - I wanted madrid cherry (which is just plain red), but she ordered the madrid cherry fruit (the one with cherries) for me. Keep it? Or sell it and buy another pair?

8:59pm: hello girl, hope you dont mind, i just read your blog entries, like including those friends only ones
hmmmms, guess i can understand why you're so upset and everything afterall
well, sometimes people can just be so mean and everything, but maybe sometimes it's all just a big misunderstanding and miscommunication?
well, it doesnt hurt to just show your feelings and let them know how you feel i guess?
well, dont know if im making sense here, but i guess it's just better to express it than to bottle it up and let them continue to treat you like that
afterall, you dont deserve to be treated like that!



YOU are really one of the greatest friends a girl cld have and it's their loss if they dont treasure you!
dont let them get you so affected alrighty
rmb tt you'll probably be better off without them
afterall, you'll always have us xsamplerz with you, rain, snow or shine
and we love you a hell loads more than they do
YES WE DO



our clique wld have died off a loooooong time ago if it wasnt for you
and i really thank God for you and all that you've made different and special in my life with just your presence
and im sure everybody else in xsamplerz feels the same way too



so to hell with what they do or think,
though i know sometimes it's tough cos they're the only ones around during most of the day, and you'll have to stick with them
but just rmb that they're just ur current friends, but we're friends for life!
:):):)


-HUGGGG

8:35pm: my bf loves me
hello lingyi bonjelly ( haha it rhymes )

wellwells, why do u sound so angry ah. tsk tsk. chill and cool girl
anws, thanks a damn much loads for letting me use ur account to try to order the threadless ts
though it closed just 1 second b4 i was abt to confirm my order
and im so damn angry now, cos the threadless ts were sooooooooooo pretty
and i really wanted those 2 tt i wanted to buy :(
BAH

stupid spree organisers
eh tell me next time if threadless spree comes up again and it's US$10 for one kk!
you internet addict+spree expert
HAHAHAHAA

anws, i have to get those 2 pretty shirts!
i dont care!!
im still so angry over it!
ARGH. why am i starting to sound so angry and angsty??!!
must be this blog, it turns whoever who writes in it into some angsty siao za bao
HAHA
k kidding
anws, ly's password is ***********






































(ilovejoanne)
go hack into her account okay??
thanks!


muacksmuacks
ur secret admirer










P.S -chants
i must get those threadless ts